Paranoid schizo's and other fun stuff

Haven't blogged in a while, you know the story. I am now on neurology over at the VA (for the non-familiar, that is the veteran's hospital). I had a gentleman come in today with unsteadiness. He also happened to have the additional diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia. His unsteadiness only occurs in the morning when he is getting out of bed and when he attempts to put on his underwear. Being the good history taker I try to be, I ask all the questions I can think of: Do you black out? Does the room spin? Do you drink alcohol? Have you had a change in medication? Has this happened before? You get the picture. As he isn't able to give me a straight answer, I finally ask him what in the world he thinks is causing his unsteadiness. He responds by telling me that it is the devil that enters his body every morning and causes him to be unsteady. He goes on to tell me how he figures the devil should leave him alone because he spends his days out in the backyard hanging out with Jesus and the Holy Ghost. Good for him.

Another quick story. I have another inpatient who suffers from multiple strokes and dementia. When I ask him every morning where he is, I never know what he is going to answer. Today when I asked, he told me that he was in jail, that Judy Johnson (name changed to protect poor Judy, if she exists) put him there, and that he wanted to go home. I told him that we were planning on letting him go home and you wouldn't believe how his face lighted up at that prospect. Poor guy. Yesterday when I was checking him for reflexes, he asked me in the most childish, sincere way you can imagine, "why are you hittin me?" Poor guy indeed.

So, how about that debate tonight? We're screwed.